oops, my neurosis is showing...

When I'm in line at the elevator and I watch the throng of people in line before me go into the elevator, I tend to think of that old game Tetris. I imagine myself arranging the people so there wouldn't be wasted spaces inside the elevator... so I could get in front of the line faster.

But when I'm inside the elevator with a different throng of people, I shudder at the idea of a perfect Tetris formation. 

Because that would mean we'd fit so well, the strangers around me would be touching me. Ugh! (And I say "ugh" because I've been jammed against sweaty strangers in the past). 

When I'm inside the elevator, I'd prefer to be in a game of Battleship than Tetris. Do you remember Battleship? Each ship stays in its own square of the grid. No two ships can occupy the same square. Oh, how I wish that could be so in the elevator at my office. I would love for the people riding up with me to be at an appropriate distance from me since everyone needs to be alone in each square of the Battleship -er, elevator, grid!

Hey, since I'm wishing anyway, might as well wish I were Pacman inside the elevator chomping away all the pellets and ghosts so I'd end up alone in the elevator to my floor. 

Hmmm, actually, might be better for the elevator to be a Space Invaders game so I don't need to ingest (Remember, I didn't even want to touch) those strangers! 

Shooting them from afar would be way better.

Yes, I have the craziest thoughts while in the looong line at my office building's elevator. Gah, my neurosis is showing again!

Photos are from here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. 

Click here for previous posts from the Oops, My Neurosis Is Showing... series. 

dear person going to the 16th floor

Since our elevator serves only floors 16 to 24, the 16th floor is our first stop. So I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't position yourself at the very back of our cramped elevator. 

I do welcome the momentary release from the tight squashed situation here, as everyone in the rows in front of you steps out onto the 16th floor just to let you out - and then files back in after you've gone.  

Because I'm itching for the more permanent release from the cramped elevator situation by getting to my floor, I'd really prefer to make the stops before mine as short and sweet as possible. And 10 people filing out of the elevator to your no-matter-how-sweet "excuse me" (to get us out of your way) makes the stop at your floor long and bitter.

So, dear person getting off on the 16th floor, please don't position yourself at the very back of the elevator. If you happen to be the first one in the elevator, please stay to the side, by the elevator buttons, so you can easily slip out at the first stop. 

Photo from annniegirl. 

Click here for previous posts from the Dear... series. Click here for previous posts on my elevator situation at my new office.

the up button is getting me down

The elevators in my very old office building serve different floors. But the Up buttons control all 5 elevators rather than say, just the one that stops on my floor. So when one elevator opens at the ground floor, the Up button lights of all 5 elevators turn off. 

I guess the assumption is that that one elevator is sufficient to serve the ground floor riders. But in the morning, there are 5 long lines of people at the ground floor waiting to go up to one of the 24 floors in our building.

So the people at the front of the lines at the other elevators need to be alert. They need to press the Up button as soon as the elevator that just stopped at the ground floor moves up. Because if the Up buttons stay unlit and an elevator skips the ground floor, the person at the front of the line will get dagger looks from everyone behind him.

But what gets me in a panic is when my elevator is neck-in-neck with another elevator. When that other elevator stops at the ground floor and people are piling in, my elevator from the basement ends up skipping the ground floor. So I have to wait all over again for my elevator to go up to the 24th floor and back down while hoping the other elevators don't pass the ground floor just a few seconds again before my elevator. So imagine my panic when people are piling in so slowly into the other elevator while I see my elevator inching up... B4... B3... B2... B1... Get in, people!!... 

And the tricky thing is that you need to wait for the right time - for the other elevator to start moving up - before pressing the Up button. If you press it too early, the other elevator's door re-opens and it ends up stopping at the ground floor even longer! Gah!!!

Who would have thought an Up button could make me feel so down?

Photo is of a postcard I got from a cool art shop in Vietnam.

Click here for more of my elevator woes.

Today, I am unloving...

Today - okay, for 7 weeks now, I have been unloving the whole cramped elevator situation in the office. In almost 2 decades working, turns out it's my first time to work in a central business district, in a high-rise office building, so the overstuffed elevator experience is new to me.

Everyday, while I'm thinking to myself that we're already packed like sardines in the elevator and no one else can possibly fit, more people push themselves inside.

It reminds me of that old sequence on Sesame Street where one, two, three... all the way to ten clowns come out of a tiny car. Well, that's how I see my elevator experience: like the clown car routine - in reverse! How in the world is that possible?!

I wouldn't mind being part of the audience watching the amazing circus routine. But this time, I'm one of the clowns getting squashed inside the elevator! 

Now I know how my clothes (and shopping loot) on out-of-the-country trips feel like in my overstuffed luggage. Gah!

Today, I am unloving... the overstuffed elevator situation in the office everyday.

Photos from annniegirl and deliciouslyorganized.

Click here for previous posts from the Today, I am unloving... series. Click here for my previous post on another elevator peeve.

dear woman in a ponytail in my office elevator

I wish you would think of your ponytail as another appendage. Because truly, it is as much an extension of you as your arm is. With a ponytail, your hair is not flat against the back of your head. It extends further away from your body than if you just wore it down.    

I know hair doesn't have nerve endings so you don't feel what your hair touches. But in a jam-packed elevator, your ponytail - no matter how beautifully messy - brushes against my face. Worse, when you look up to see what floor the elevator is on (on darn, almost every floor), your ponytail bobs up and down, that it feels like it's mopping my face.

Granted, I've only had 6 weeks experience riding crowded elevators to work everyday. I'm hoping that my too-far-reaching personal space will eventually be more accepting of the uncomfortable close proximity of strangers in the elevator. But I doubt I'll ever get used to your hair swishing around on my face. Your hair, literally in my face, is much too close for comfort. 

So tomorrow, could you maybe hold onto your ponytail so your hair stays within your personal space instead of invading mine?

Photo from acupofjo.

Click here for previous posts from the Dear... series.