Thursday, June 30, 2011

dear mall entrance guard

I really wish you were more like the Buckingham Palace guard. If you don't even bother to direct your eyes to the insides of my bag, I wish you wouldn't poke it with that drumstick of yours. I willingly open my bag anyway to submit to these safety checks because I really prefer that there aren't any bombs or guns in people's bags at the mall. But if you won't check my bag anyway, please make like the Queen's Guard and keep your and your drumstick's movement to a minimum. After all, going through the motions of stirring the insides of my bag with your drumstick is more effective cooking chicken soup than conducting a proper safety check.

Photo from heritage.

"Life is like our kitchen cupboard."

Way before Forrest Gump, my now 90-year-old Lola (Grandma) taught me that "Life is like a box of chocolates our cupboard; you never know what you're gonna get".

My Lola was obsessed with joining raffles. Growing up, half of our bodega (storage room/attic) would be filled with wrappers upon wrappers upon wrappers that would allow her to send in gazillion entries to manufacturers' raffle promotions. When Purefoods or Swift would have a running raffle, this would greet me when I opened our kitchen cupboard...

I would mean to grab a can of Vienna sausages but end up opening a can of pork n' beans. Sigh.

Her obsession continued even after I got married. She would strongly urge my husband who smokes Marlboros to smoke the Hope and Winston cigarettes sitting on her home-office-desk in their silver foil - wrapper-less of course. Sadly, she never won an "ixpidition". But she did win us a portable crib for our daughter by secretly collecting all the proofs of purchase of her diapers!

These days, her obsession has been channeled to the Lotto. She records every winning lotto combination in her little pad. She even logs the VisMin winning combinations even if she can barely get out of her room (due to Osteoporosis), what more fly to VisMin to buy a Lotto ticket there?! Check out photos of her records and the rest of her OC habits on ocmominmanila.

For someone so obsessed with control, it's ironic how she loves to join these games of chance. Perhaps she's trying to beat the system? My Lola: what a character!

Photos from Google images.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

big house, small house

I don't know why people want to have huge houses. Needless to say, I live in a small house. But having to keep track of lightbulbs that need changing or cabinets with loose handles or hinges drives me nuts. I feel like I have to call the handyman every week! Imagine how many more lightbulbs, cabinet handles and hinges I will need to keep track of with a big house! And what? The handyman will be here everyday?

Seriously, I love my small house.

Photos by Mark Seliger for Harper's Bazaar.  

Today, I am un-loving...

Today, I am un-loving... the Dibo, The Gift Dragon theme song! While every mother of a preschooler could probably sing it by heart, it's not really a song they would like playing in their heads (or iPods) if they could help it.

hello hello, my name's Dibo
here is something you should know
when you want a gift say this
didibo ding dibo dibo ding!


And seriously, what is it with kiddie shows with purple and green reptiles?!

Photo from simplelife.

motion sickness

I have always had motion sickness. I've learned to sleep in the car (or boat, or plane) to avoid the queasy awful feeling. About 4 years ago, I discovered Sea-bands (bands with a button that pressed on a pressure point at the wrist) and for the first time, I got to watch my plane land. On that particular late-night flight, we landed in Las Vegas and I excitedly exclaimed to my husband, "I didn't know landings were this beautiful!" - referring to the breathtaking citylights I saw through my window. That clueless comment of course elicited a hearty laugh from my husband.

Sadly, the Sea-bands don't work for me in theme-park rides so my trip to the parks in Florida a couple of months ago made me realize how limiting my motion sickness is. At first, I bravely got on the Jimmy Neutron ride at Universal muttering, "What could Jimmy Neutron do to me?" Hah! Famous last words! So I missed out on the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit and the Harry Potter Dragon Challenge which my friends raved about and went on twice, Popeye & Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges and the Jurassic Park River Adventure and ended up guarding handbags alone outside almost every ride. But what broke my heart was not being able to tour the Hogwarts Castle because it required "soaring above the castle grounds".

Even cable cars make me dizzy. Sigh. Life in slow motion. 

Photo from bippityboppityboo.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

dear tollgate attendant

I wish you would cup your hand like a beggar when receiving my tollfee. I promise to drop my tollfee right smack at the center of your palm – as long as it faces upwards (rather than sideways like PacMan ready to chomp at my hand). While it’s sweet that we are connecting ever so briefly each day, I’d really much rather your sweaty index-finger (that has touched the bills and coins that has passed through 2,000 people’s equally sweaty palms) didn’t connect with my fingertips. I’d much rather connect with you with a smile and a cheery good-morning. After all, am not really into public displays of affection.

Photo from bippityboppityboo.


It's amazing how much a woman transforms when she becomes a mother. And I'm not even talking about the weight-gain. Somehow, a self-assured woman who conducts herself in such a dignified and elegant manner in the boardroom loses it at the carousel. She waves frantically at her child when his horse passes her - like someone meeting a long-lost relative would at the airport. Her eyes light up as if there were some sort of feat as the kid and his horse approaches her. Did she believe he rode the horse bareback to her at 2-years-old? And she does this at every. single. turn.

I am a mother and I know how precious it is to witness the sheer delight in your child's eyes as he spots you waving crazily at him during every turn of the carousel.

But I'm sure your poised and elegant boardroom self would find the frantic waving at every turn pathetic and embarassing. Amazing how one can have two personas, right? This blog is the other side of me. My positivity journal has changed my outlook and approach to life so tremendously. But let's face it. Everyone still has bad days. This blog is for those times... when am down in the dumps, -er, dots. Or when I just want to be mean or sarcastic that what I have to say belongs in the dumpster, -er, dotster.

Photo from countryliving.