why i'm blogging again

People ask me why I'm blogging again after a 2-year hiatus. Is it because I'm bored (in a whale?!) and have nothing to do?

Is it because I've been feeling lonely and in need of my old positivity journal?

Or is it because my mom has been missing my blog so much that I'm doing this for her?

The reality is it's because I'm trapped in bad traffic more going to my new office vs. my old one.

And I discovered the Blogger app.

So now, I no longer panic while sitting in traffic that I might be late for work...

... because I pass the drive, er- standstill time blogging. 

Photos from heritage and my screenshot of my Blogger app.

mornings will never be the same

I cannot imagine the grief those parents of Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut are feeling. I cannot imagine how they dropped off their kids in school, like they do everyday, but this time, it was for the very last time.

When I was working, I couldn't help feel emotional every time I dropped off Noah on his school's driveway. Partly, it was the daily routine of a kiss & a hug in the car, a flying kiss we would both blow to each other once he got out of my car, the imaginary catching of the kiss and planting it on a facial part we so desired that day (nose or cheek, sometimes, even forehead). At some point, Noah started to rub the hand that caught my kiss with his other hand and would plant my kiss on both his cheeks. The wistfulness every morning was also partly brought about by the sight of Noah, with his bag, walking into his school. Somehow, seeing him carry or pull his bag himself into the doorway of his big school made me feel my baby boy was all grown up. Partly, too, it was because it would be another 14 or so hours 'til I would get home from work & see him again.

But now that I am a stay-at-home mom (with no nanny), I realize our mornings have changed. Mornings are a frenzy: waking the kids up, rushing them through eating breakfast, through brushing their teeth & through putting on their uniform so we are out of the door at a time that they won't be late. The roadworks in our area here make the drive to school equally stressful, especially when I try to squeeze in an oral review of what Noah was taking a quiz on that day while deciding which alternate route would result in the lightest traffic. As I drop them off at school, I throw last-minute reminders at them (check the lost & found for your notebook or I'll fetch you at this time at this gate). There might still be a kiss & a hug while I'm rattling off the reminders but they certainly don't feel like the ones I used to enjoy (albeit, with longing) when I was still working.

I cannot imagine what it would be like if last Friday morning turned out to be the last time I'd see my kids. I just cannot.

What I can do... what I vow to do... is to make it a point to share a tender moment with them every morning, like I did when I was working. Last Friday was the end of absent-minded kisses & hugs with reminders in my mind. From now on, there will only be savored kisses & hugs. I'm not sure we can bring back the flying kiss blowing, catching & planting routine because Noah's hands are full, carrying his lunchbox, thermos & plastic envelope (and Isabella is much too old for that). But a meaningful glance back at me before they walk into school will do just fine. It will be our new special moment. From now on.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims of Sandy Hook. Their mornings will never be the same again. Ever. But I pray that they remember the special mornings they did get to share with the child they lost. And that one day, with God's healing power, they will be able to find hope in the dawn of a new day.

Photo from nyctaughtme.

alternate route

The Habagat in August destroyed the main road in our area that leads to C5. Sadly, it has been taking so long to fix. So I've had to take an alternate route to bring the kids to school. And I have to admit, the sights along the alternate route were a pleasant surprise. I pass this really old church...

... and some old houses...

... that I feel like I'm transported to an alternate world - ironically, just a few minutes before I enter the bustling Ortigas CBD of modern high-rise buildings.

I've come to enjoy the few seconds each day that I pass these ancient structures. I feel like I'm on a field trip to Old Manila every day. Oddly, without knowing the name of the church or how old these sights really are, I get a warm, fuzzy feeling to just be passing these old buildings - that I imagine to be teeming with the character of a remarkable history.

Photos are my own.

too far for comfort

 

As you might already know from here, when I was still working, my nightly route home included a service road that crosses the NAIA runway. The sides of the road are barricaded with runway lights. Sometimes, the traffic build-up on the service road would put my car in that exact spot and I would experience that awesome feeling of being right under a landing airplane. I just love that sudden rush - with the plane's overpowering presence with its enormous wings closing in on me and the thunderous booming sound of its engine - right overhead. The feeling is just so surreal that I looked forward to chancing upon being in that right spot on my way home every night.

 

But now that I've taken a break from work, I no longer have that nightly chance to feel the wonderful rush. Now, my view of an airplane is much like the photo above... from a distance. Sadly, it is just not the same...

 

This is definitely one of the little things I will miss about my old job that I completely forgot to include in my list here.

 

Yes, nowadays, the planes I chance upon overhead are just too far for comfort. 

 

Photo from acupofjo.  

Regret...

While at a stoplight on the way home on one rainy night about a year ago, an old man walked past my car on the sidewalk. He didn't have an umbrella, was completely drenched and was clearly shivering from the cold rainy night.

I didn't have an umbrella in my car either. All I had was this new down rainjacket I had purchased just the previous week in Hong Kong.

I hesitated. I wish my first thought was that he might get insulted because it wasn't clear if he was homeless. But that wasn't my first thought. Sadly, it was that my jacket was expensive.

I hesitated for about 3 seconds and by then, the light had turned green and I lost the opportunity to comfort a shivering, old man on that late, rainy night. I regret that moment to this day. I wish I had not been that selfish.

3 seconds of hesitation. A nagging regret I will carry for years to come.

 

Photo from frommetoyou.  

dear exact-toll-lane driver

There are 2 lanes on the tollgate I pass to get to the office. One is an E-Pass/Exact Toll Lane and the other is a Cash/Coupon Lane. One day, the car in front of me on the Exact Toll Lane caused traffic because he demanded that the tollgate attendant give him his 1-peso change. Apparently, he was handed a receipt when he passed and he realized he didn't get his 1-peso change after he had moved his car two feet. So he yelled at the attendant who eventually had to walk out of her booth and hand him his change.

I have to admit I was extremely annoyed - okay, 'pissed' would be more accurate. But some time has passed and I have gotten over my anger. So sans expletives, here is my message for the driver of that car.

Dear Exact-Toll-Lane Driver, let me start by telling you that, because I have to pass that tollgate everyday, I've already calculated how much it would cost me to give up my 1-peso change if I chose the Exact Toll Lane each day for a year - just to avoid the delay in the longer Cash/Coupon line. So you have to understand my dismay at having to put up with a delay in the Exact Toll Lane when you demanded for your 1-peso change that day. You see, exact toll lanes mean you need to pay the exact toll or give up your change. It's the price you pay to avoid delay. If you weren't willing to give up your change, I would have preferred that you lined up on the Cash/Coupon Lane. There, drivers are trained to wait patiently for the tollgate attendant to hand drivers their change, so unlike the E-Pass/Exact Toll Lane drivers who want to go through that tollgate as fast as they can. After all, these drivers take time to fill up our E-Pass Load (is that what it's called?) or prepare a stash of coins and P20 & P50 bills to easily hand the attendant the P49 tollfee.

So dear Exact-Toll-Lane Driver... if you didn't take the time to fill up your E-Pass Load or prepare the exact tollfee, please, please, take the Cash/Coupon Lane or be prepared to give up your change. This way, we - both Cash/Coupon and Exact-Toll drivers - can all pass through that tollgate happily. :)

Photo from annnniegirl.

Click here for previous posts from the Dear... series. 

dear motorcycle driver

A few weeks back, in just 2 morning drives, I almost hit 5 motorcycles. These 5 motorcycles were on my right side when I was about to turn right. I had my signal light on for a couple of meters and yet, they didn't even slow down at the corner and just sped straight past my car. It was a good thing I checked my side-mirror before making the turn!

So dear motorcycle driver, please check for signal lights at corners. Not everyone will make a signal AND check their side-mirror. So even if you're not waiting for a sign, I'm telling you a signal light is IT. Please, please watch out for those blinking light signs on cars.

Photo from heritage.

Click here for previous posts from the Dear... series. Click here for a previous post about motorcycles.

my nighttime drive

Speaking of listening to the radio during drive-time here, there is this DJ that makes me want to just grab my bag and get out of my car. In fact, I've stopped listening to this particular radio station on my way home from work. Because I just couldn't stand the accent of their female DJ.

When it started about 3 months ago, even though her accent really bothered me, I kept listening to her every night that week. Oddly, it didn't occur to me to switch stations. I think it was because I felt there was something wrong with her pronounciation, but I couldn't tell what was wrong exactly. So I found myself repeating her pronounciation of certain words over and over to figure out what sounded so wrong.

And I swear, it's not because my standards are too high. I'm perfectly fine with barok Filipino-English. After hearing this DJ, I don't even mind the trying-hard-to-have-an-American-twang kind of Filipino-English. Because this girl just says things in a majorly wrong way.

For example, the word "debut". I wouldn't have minded hearing "day-byu" or "de-bu". But mixing it up and pronouncing it "de-byu" just gave me a migraine.

I later found out from a friend that this DJ is really hot-looking. Doesn't she know that radio is a medium for 'better-heard-than-seen' people? Those 'better-seen-than-heard' types like her belong on a visual medium like TV! As Joey of Friends said, "Radio, that's just for ugly people."

Photo from annnniegirl.

Click here for the of-dots-&-things version of this post - my morning drive. Click here for previous posts on my Friends addiction.

the elusive VW hood

Ironic. Now, I find a photo of a whole row of VW beetle hoods!

When just last week, I spotted Herbie on the way to work. It certainly brightened up morning traffic for me! I tried very hard to take a photo of his hood without bumping into the car in front of me. But all I got were multiple photos of his side and his trunk.

Someday, I hope I get to take a photo of that elusive VW hood!

Photo from pinkwallpaper and my own (via my BB Torch and edited via pixlr).

Singapore cabs

Am going to Singapore for work tomorrow. I'm excited because I lived in Singapore for a very short while a few years back so I think of it as my second home. And the thing I miss most about the place is their cab system.

I can't help feel nostalgic when I hear the recording answer with "Comfort/City Cab. For pick-up at... press 1. For pick-up at... press 2... Please don't hang up. We are processing your destination." Then in a second, "Taxi number 8D22 will be at your destination in 3 to 5 minutes."

I love that they record your latest 2 destinations so you don't have to dictate it to an operator all the time. They say it's hard to get a cab right before 12mn, before the cab rates go up, but I've never ever been stranded. A cab always comes. Yes, they will complain about traffic - muttering "Jam!" angrily - even when it is just a 5-car build-up at a stoplight. And yes, you need to learn to pronounce your destination in their accent to get there - Penang Road is "Pineng Road" and "House" is "How" to them. But I always, always got there.

Would be perfect if Singapore cabs turned this pretty since my last visit.

But even if they didn't, Singapore cabs will always have a special place in my heart. :)

Photos from annnniegirl. 

oops, my neurosis is showing...

I have a problem with floating stickers on the windshield.

When I'm inside the car, I can't seem to look past them. So they give me a headache.

Because I need the stickers to be out of my line of sight, the only acceptable windshield space is the bottommost portion which is hard to get to because there's hardly enough space for hands to fit - what more hands that are trying to stick the sticker as close as possible to the bottom edge of the windshield? Not to mention the fact that the stickers cannot be stuck in a lopsided manner. I need them to be evenly aligned to the edge of the windshield. I used to stick them on an acetate film. But acetate films are hard to come by these days (do overhead projectors still exist?). So I actually haven't stuck an LTO-registration sticker on my windshield for 5 years now. And you know how much of a dutiful driver I am from here. So while I feel guilty about it, I really prefer a clear, floating-sticker-free windshield like this.

Oops, is my neurosis showing again?

Photos from annnniegirl.

Click here for previous posts from the Oops, My Neurosis Is Showing series.

guilty

Eeep. Am guilty. I have to admit there is this feeling of hatred in the driver in me. Not towards bicyclists, but towards motorcyclists.

Not only because they take away the one fun thing about catching a red light here. But because they weave in & out, often dangerously overtaking from the right side. I think the idea of designating a motorcycle lane is the right thing to do. But a whole car lane on Edsa does not seem to be the right way to do it. Because daily Edsa traffic is proof that the volume of cars is just too high, the motorcycle lane will always be occupied by cars too. And the motorcycles will just overtake from the right or left of those cars in the motorcycle lane. It doesn't help that the motorcycle lane is a middle-lane because they tend to spill out to the left & right lanes, affecting all 3 car lanes -- rendering the motorcycle lane pretty useless.

I think there's something to learn from bicycle lanes. Bike lanes around the world are small. They don't fit cars, just bikes. Maybe they should designate 1 or 2 motorcycle-wide lanes on Edsa as the motorcycle lane.  It will segregate cars from motorcycles, keeping everyone safe. Perhaps this is why "love is among cyclists". They have their own lane - safe from dangerous overtaking against much bigger vehicles, yet still unperturbed by the heavy traffic of cars in the car lanes.

I remember the time when buses would weave in & out of Edsa traffic, going from the leftmost lane to the rightmost and back. We've managed to get buses to stick to their lane. I'm sure we can get motorcycles to do the same! As long as they can have their lane all to themselves. Maybe this is one time that sharing [lanes] leads to hatred and selfishness leads to love...

Photos from designsponge.

new old license plates

Have you noticed that the new Manila license plates have resurrected the letters N and P as starting letters? Are you wondering if we are re-using old plate numbers?

Since I sit in traffic for a long time to and from work, I have mulled over this plate number thing a number of times:

No, we aren't re-using old plate numbers. I used to play the alphabet license plate game with my brother when I was a kid. We would look for the letters A to Z on license plates. So I am absolutely sure that old license plates did NOT use the letters I, O and Q.

So when N and P are resurrected, the letters I, O or Q are also used in the combination to ensure the new plates are unique.

Like I said, I have pondered about this a lot in traffic. So I've gone to the extent of calculating how many cars each resurrected letter is equivalent to. Now, please excuse the nerdiness because Permutations and Combinations is the only Math topic I enjoyed in school. 

1 (to represent each resurrected letter) x 3 (I, O, Q) x 26 (all letters in the alphabet) x 10 (0 to 9) x 10 x 10 = 76,000 license plates.

So everytime a letter is resurrected, that means an additional 76,000 cars were given license plates! So when N, P, T, U, W, X and Z have all been resurrected, there will be a total of 624,000 additional cars on the road! Aaagggghhhh! I cannot imagine how long I will be stuck in traffic when that time comes! But I wonder what other mundane things I will end up thinking about with all the more time in traffic?

Photos from i'mjustsaying and fromainsley.

when yellow turns to red at your turn

Crossing three intersections yesterday, the light turned from yellow to red on me so I had no choice but to pull to a stop. It would be natural to feel a little miffed because you just got left behind by the fleet of cars you had been driving with and now, you will get to your destination at least 96 seconds (there was a digital timer at the stoplight) later  than if you had gotten through.

But the three stops made me realize there is more to be miffed about...

The dutiful driver that I am stopped before the pedestrian lane. But motorcycles aren't as obedient. Within seconds, the pedestrian lane in front of me was filled with at least ten motorcycles that eventually took away the only fun thing about catching a red light: being the first to go on green and getting to drive as fast as you can - within the speed limit of course, since I am, as I said, a dutiful driver.

The digital timer reads 4. 3. 2. 1. The light turns green and the ten or so motorcycles in front of me might as well be that woman lying down on the pedestrian lane. It takes about five seconds before maybe four of them start moving. Two seconds later, three start to inch forward. Eventually, all ten cross the intersection but when I finally cross as well, I find myself trying to dodge a fleet of motorcycles at different slow speeds spread across three lanes -- all in the effort to overtake all of them and reclaim the only fun thing about catching a red light.

My Sunday stops at the traffic light were certainly unpleasant. I hope Monday morning traffic will be better!

Photo from sparklesandpretending.

Today, I am un-loving...

... Friday traffic.

Actually, yesterday, I got caught in majorly heavy traffic! It took me a whole hour to traverse Julia Vargas Avenue to Megamall! It was craaazy! And to think, it wasn't even Friday. Or rush hour (when I passed). Or payday yet.

And the weird thing is that there didn't seem to be any reason for the traffic. The cause of the looong, crawling line to Megamall was not at all apparent because all the side roads and even the short stretch of Julia Vargas after San Miguel Avenue was quite clear. Did everyone just happen to want to congregate in Julia Vargas for an hour?!

Sigh... I really can't decide which is worse: heavy traffic without a cause or traffic with a reason.

Today, I am so not looking forward to... Friday traffic.

Photo from sparklesandpretending.