dear person going to the 16th floor

Since our elevator serves only floors 16 to 24, the 16th floor is our first stop. So I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't position yourself at the very back of our cramped elevator. 

I do welcome the momentary release from the tight squashed situation here, as everyone in the rows in front of you steps out onto the 16th floor just to let you out - and then files back in after you've gone.  

Because I'm itching for the more permanent release from the cramped elevator situation by getting to my floor, I'd really prefer to make the stops before mine as short and sweet as possible. And 10 people filing out of the elevator to your no-matter-how-sweet "excuse me" (to get us out of your way) makes the stop at your floor long and bitter.

So, dear person getting off on the 16th floor, please don't position yourself at the very back of the elevator. If you happen to be the first one in the elevator, please stay to the side, by the elevator buttons, so you can easily slip out at the first stop. 

Photo from annniegirl. 

Click here for previous posts from the Dear... series. Click here for previous posts on my elevator situation at my new office.

the up button is getting me down

The elevators in my very old office building serve different floors. But the Up buttons control all 5 elevators rather than say, just the one that stops on my floor. So when one elevator opens at the ground floor, the Up button lights of all 5 elevators turn off. 

I guess the assumption is that that one elevator is sufficient to serve the ground floor riders. But in the morning, there are 5 long lines of people at the ground floor waiting to go up to one of the 24 floors in our building.

So the people at the front of the lines at the other elevators need to be alert. They need to press the Up button as soon as the elevator that just stopped at the ground floor moves up. Because if the Up buttons stay unlit and an elevator skips the ground floor, the person at the front of the line will get dagger looks from everyone behind him.

But what gets me in a panic is when my elevator is neck-in-neck with another elevator. When that other elevator stops at the ground floor and people are piling in, my elevator from the basement ends up skipping the ground floor. So I have to wait all over again for my elevator to go up to the 24th floor and back down while hoping the other elevators don't pass the ground floor just a few seconds again before my elevator. So imagine my panic when people are piling in so slowly into the other elevator while I see my elevator inching up... B4... B3... B2... B1... Get in, people!!... 

And the tricky thing is that you need to wait for the right time - for the other elevator to start moving up - before pressing the Up button. If you press it too early, the other elevator's door re-opens and it ends up stopping at the ground floor even longer! Gah!!!

Who would have thought an Up button could make me feel so down?

Photo is of a postcard I got from a cool art shop in Vietnam.

Click here for more of my elevator woes.

Today, I am unloving...

Today - okay, for 7 weeks now, I have been unloving the whole cramped elevator situation in the office. In almost 2 decades working, turns out it's my first time to work in a central business district, in a high-rise office building, so the overstuffed elevator experience is new to me.

Everyday, while I'm thinking to myself that we're already packed like sardines in the elevator and no one else can possibly fit, more people push themselves inside.

It reminds me of that old sequence on Sesame Street where one, two, three... all the way to ten clowns come out of a tiny car. Well, that's how I see my elevator experience: like the clown car routine - in reverse! How in the world is that possible?!

I wouldn't mind being part of the audience watching the amazing circus routine. But this time, I'm one of the clowns getting squashed inside the elevator! 

Now I know how my clothes (and shopping loot) on out-of-the-country trips feel like in my overstuffed luggage. Gah!

Today, I am unloving... the overstuffed elevator situation in the office everyday.

Photos from annniegirl and deliciouslyorganized.

Click here for previous posts from the Today, I am unloving... series. Click here for my previous post on another elevator peeve.

dear woman in a ponytail in my office elevator

I wish you would think of your ponytail as another appendage. Because truly, it is as much an extension of you as your arm is. With a ponytail, your hair is not flat against the back of your head. It extends further away from your body than if you just wore it down.    

I know hair doesn't have nerve endings so you don't feel what your hair touches. But in a jam-packed elevator, your ponytail - no matter how beautifully messy - brushes against my face. Worse, when you look up to see what floor the elevator is on (on darn, almost every floor), your ponytail bobs up and down, that it feels like it's mopping my face.

Granted, I've only had 6 weeks experience riding crowded elevators to work everyday. I'm hoping that my too-far-reaching personal space will eventually be more accepting of the uncomfortable close proximity of strangers in the elevator. But I doubt I'll ever get used to your hair swishing around on my face. Your hair, literally in my face, is much too close for comfort. 

So tomorrow, could you maybe hold onto your ponytail so your hair stays within your personal space instead of invading mine?

Photo from acupofjo.

Click here for previous posts from the Dear... series.

mornings will never be the same

I cannot imagine the grief those parents of Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut are feeling. I cannot imagine how they dropped off their kids in school, like they do everyday, but this time, it was for the very last time.

When I was working, I couldn't help feel emotional every time I dropped off Noah on his school's driveway. Partly, it was the daily routine of a kiss & a hug in the car, a flying kiss we would both blow to each other once he got out of my car, the imaginary catching of the kiss and planting it on a facial part we so desired that day (nose or cheek, sometimes, even forehead). At some point, Noah started to rub the hand that caught my kiss with his other hand and would plant my kiss on both his cheeks. The wistfulness every morning was also partly brought about by the sight of Noah, with his bag, walking into his school. Somehow, seeing him carry or pull his bag himself into the doorway of his big school made me feel my baby boy was all grown up. Partly, too, it was because it would be another 14 or so hours 'til I would get home from work & see him again.

But now that I am a stay-at-home mom (with no nanny), I realize our mornings have changed. Mornings are a frenzy: waking the kids up, rushing them through eating breakfast, through brushing their teeth & through putting on their uniform so we are out of the door at a time that they won't be late. The roadworks in our area here make the drive to school equally stressful, especially when I try to squeeze in an oral review of what Noah was taking a quiz on that day while deciding which alternate route would result in the lightest traffic. As I drop them off at school, I throw last-minute reminders at them (check the lost & found for your notebook or I'll fetch you at this time at this gate). There might still be a kiss & a hug while I'm rattling off the reminders but they certainly don't feel like the ones I used to enjoy (albeit, with longing) when I was still working.

I cannot imagine what it would be like if last Friday morning turned out to be the last time I'd see my kids. I just cannot.

What I can do... what I vow to do... is to make it a point to share a tender moment with them every morning, like I did when I was working. Last Friday was the end of absent-minded kisses & hugs with reminders in my mind. From now on, there will only be savored kisses & hugs. I'm not sure we can bring back the flying kiss blowing, catching & planting routine because Noah's hands are full, carrying his lunchbox, thermos & plastic envelope (and Isabella is much too old for that). But a meaningful glance back at me before they walk into school will do just fine. It will be our new special moment. From now on.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims of Sandy Hook. Their mornings will never be the same again. Ever. But I pray that they remember the special mornings they did get to share with the child they lost. And that one day, with God's healing power, they will be able to find hope in the dawn of a new day.

Photo from nyctaughtme.

the thing I'm thrilled to miss

This is the time of year when people with two left feet like me (in fact, I believe I have 4 left feet because even my arms don't know which direction to go) are forced to humiliate themselves in office Christmas party presentations. 

This is the time of the year when perfectly respectable, highly-regarded colleagues are reduced to lowly back-up dancers who still manage to degrade themselves by messing up their minuscule part because of their unbelievable lack of dancing talent (I've badly played a tree and a lamp in past Christmas party presentations!) and the embarrassing requirement to maintain a big cheerleader smile during the dance (seriously, why does a tree need to paste that horrid chesire-cat smile with matching raised eyebrows and enlarged eyes?). 

This is the time of year when people who conduct themselves with exceptional grace & dignity in the boardroom fall from grace in one swift (though it seems to take forever while it's happening), uncoordinated performance.

So now that I'm on sabbatical from work, I am thrilled that I am missing the office Christmas party presentations!

Photo from annnniegirl.

Funny how about the same time last year here, I was feeling the exact same dread, except then, I couldn't miss it. Click here for a previous post on motherhood-related things I am, on the other hand, thrilled I am not missing. 

oops, my neurosis is showing...

Discovering here that there are things I would have missed had I been at work, I got to thinking about how much I must have missed when Isabella was growing up. It gave me an awful, awful feeling.

Since I didn't have the luxury of taking a break from work then, I started to wonder if work got in the way of mothering when Isabella was a young child. I began to get neurotic, wondering if Isabella's low regard for tidy hair is my fault after all. She didn't seem to adopt the habit of brushing her hair before leaving the house so it is always quite unkempt.

And I wonder if this is because I never spent time fixing her hair when she was a young child. At most, I gathered her hair in pigtails or a ponytail. But I never gave her a fancy braid like this.

Brushing Isabella's hair took only a second or two. And maybe that's why she takes just about that much time with her hair today.

Is this one of those things I missed - one of those things I didn't get to teach her - because I was at work? Had I devoted a bit more time to fixing her hair, would she be sporting a pretty braid like this today?

Awful, awful feeling. Am I right to be guilty? Or is my neurosis showing yet again?

Photos from acupofjo. If it's not too late for you, check out Jo's blog for her pretty hair tutorials.

Click here for previous posts from the Oops, My Neurosis Is Showing... series. Click here for the ofdotsnthings version of this post.

too far for comfort

 

As you might already know from here, when I was still working, my nightly route home included a service road that crosses the NAIA runway. The sides of the road are barricaded with runway lights. Sometimes, the traffic build-up on the service road would put my car in that exact spot and I would experience that awesome feeling of being right under a landing airplane. I just love that sudden rush - with the plane's overpowering presence with its enormous wings closing in on me and the thunderous booming sound of its engine - right overhead. The feeling is just so surreal that I looked forward to chancing upon being in that right spot on my way home every night.

 

But now that I've taken a break from work, I no longer have that nightly chance to feel the wonderful rush. Now, my view of an airplane is much like the photo above... from a distance. Sadly, it is just not the same...

 

This is definitely one of the little things I will miss about my old job that I completely forgot to include in my list here.

 

Yes, nowadays, the planes I chance upon overhead are just too far for comfort. 

 

Photo from acupofjo.  

my new normal

When I was still working, I drafted a loooooong to-do list in my head for my sabbatical from work. But over the first few days, I could not bring myself to start on the list.

 

I think it's because I've been programmed to work according to a strict deadline (read: I'm a crammer). So without any deadlines, all I had to show for for the first week was driving the kids to and from school & after-school activities. Coz those had a deadline. They needed to be picked up at this time and brought there by that time. Of course, watch TV & dvds, facebook, blog and take a nap were things that weren't on the list that I got to do a lot.

 

Aside from the absence of a deadline, I think I was also crippled by the seemingly endless list of tasks. There were just too many, I didn't know which to prioritize.

 

Being very results-driven, I had a nagging feeling of frustration at the end of my first week. So I decided to cut up my to-do list into categories: Urgent (mostly stuff the kids need for school/after-school), Home (with sub-categories of To-Fix, To-Buy, To-Organize) and Project (special "me" projects like 'enroll in a class', 'travel' and 'get on the treadmill'). This turned my impossible, long to-do list into doable, bite-size lists. 

 

Then I decided I would work on 1 Home or 1 Project task every day (of course, the tasks on Urgent list also need to get done ASAP). The required task per day gave the crammer in me a deadline and the doable one-a-day target made it less daunting. Plus, it gave me a daily sense of accomplishment.

 

A couple of days of this new system has led to a number of to-do-list items crossed off. I am able to enjoy my sabbatical without the first week's nagging frustration of having nothing to show for my week. When I was working, getting things done was so intuitive, I no longer even needed an actual list. The tasks were all in my head and I was naturally programmed to prioritize and deliver them on time. Now  that I am on sabbatical, getting things done needed a whole new system. And because the new system assures the outcome I've been wired all these years to deliver, I am able to fully enjoy this sabbatical journey of mine. 

This is my new normal.

 

Photo from fromainsleywithlove and playtimebreak.

 

Click here and here for previous posts on my sabbatical.   

change

Am back to using my old laptop - my Vivienne Tam HP mini notebook - from the office-issued Lenovo I've been using everyday for a while now.

And I am going nuts!!! It took me 3 tries to remember my password - actually, more the correct case for the right letter. Windows Explorer looks different. The keys seem to be in the wrong place.  I had to change my home pages. Turns out the websites I frequented 2 years ago are not exactly the same as my favorites these days. And of course, I needed to log in to all my fave sites. The colors on my monitor are slightly different - somewhat more yellow than my old laptop's. The screen is smaller, shorter. I experimented with a 75% view so I could see more in my preview pane, but the visuals were too small. Am trying a 90% view now. It's just not the same!

Oh, this will take some getting used to...

Though I am loving the purrretty butterflies everywhere. Here's a screenshot of me exploring my jcrewing photo folder.

There are butterfly stand-ins while the photos load. I noticed there's a different butterfly graphic depending on the filetype (jpeg vs png).

Purrretty, right?

"Very often, a change of self is needed more than a change of scene" (A.C. Benson). I already like the change of scenery - what with all the butterflies, but I need to give me and my habits an overhaul to make this change work.

Now, if only the other things about this laptop were as easy to get used to as those purrretty butterflies...

Photo from lushlee.

Click here and here for the posts on the change that led to this change.

lost: my shopping mojo

I already knew I was taking a break from work during my last trip to Hong Kong. And it totally confused my shopping mojo. I guess I had always been programmed to shop for office clothes on shopping trips like that. So I ended up crippled. I couldn't decide on a look to hunt for.

Was I going to dress up sweats?

Or did I prefer casual chic?

I knew I was always going to go for classic staples like a striped lounge dress. But I already have lots of those in my closet!

I ended up buying a few button-downs from Massimo Dutti because I figure they could transition from work to non-work looks.

But weeks after my shopping trip, I realize I should have shopped for comfortable flats! After all, I don't see myself running errands around the mall in heels.

Sigh. I lost my shopping mojo.

Photos from pinkwallpaper, heritage, simplyme and garancedore.

Click here and here for previous posts about my break from work.  

i wish...

Got text messages from both Noah and Isabella's teachers that classes are cancelled today.

What about me??? I wish my office would text me too that today has been cancelled. Coz I'd really just like to go back to bed.

Photo from heritage.

Click here for one of those bed-weather days in 2011 - with Diane Kruger and Justin Timberlake.

shooting target

The thing I don't like about the BRs I said I liked here, is how you tend to be the shooting target during your BR presentation. You are the one that gets questioned and challenged by top management. It's a good thing I recently learned I might have an alternative career!

Yes, this is me at a firing range (thanks to my co-worker D who treated us to this unique exhilarating experience!).

At first, it was pretty unnerving... From the ear-piercing sound when a shot is fired by the other shooters, to the pressure of trying to follow the Armscor instructor's direction of a 30% grip with my right hand and a 70% grip with my left (how do you calculate grip strength in percentages??), to the gun recoiling after each shot - against my will (haha! control issues!). But by my 2nd round, I began to enjoy the thrill.

My very first time to fire a gun...

Not bad for my very first round, right? 

Now I wonder if there are any openings in The Avengers. I wouldn't mind rubbing elbows with the arrogantly witty Tony Stark and Steve Rogers (Chris Evans is just too cute to be hidden under Captain America's mask! Though I still like him better as the Fantastic Four's Torch.). Can my target-paper serve as my resume for Natasha Romanov's job? 

Photos are from here and my own, edited via pixlr.

Click here for the of-dots-&-things version of this post.

nonsensical perfection

Warning: This down-in-the-dots post has sunk to the lowest of levels! It is incredibly late and I am waiting for my ultra-slow work email to send out some urgent mail. It was starting to feel like a watched pot so I opted to distract myself with this quick post to hopefully, finally make it boil. So please do not judge this blog based on this nonsensical post... 

Quite a while back here, I shared this photo of jetlag perfection. Seriously, wouldn't you want to look this good when you're jetlagged?

Around the same time here, I also shared this photo of derby perfection. Wouldn't this be the perfect outfit for a derby (if there ever was one in Manila)?

So I thought you'd also like to see this photo of armpit perfection.

Isn't it the most perfect armpit? I know it's probably photoshopped, but if I had such beautiful armpits, I'd probably find a way to keep my arms up high all the time rather than tap my fingers repeatedly as my Microsoft Outlook's send/receive status stays put at 56%.

56%. Nuninuninu... Tap-a-tap (in case you're wondering, that's the sound of my tapping fingers)... Tap-a-tap... Still at 56%. Sigh...

Photos from i'mjustsaying, everythingfab and annnniegirl.  

Today, I am un-loving...

Today, I am un-loving... having to work the day after Christmas. Christmas was over too soon. Just a weekend. So going back to work today was difficult.

Of course, it wasn't like a normal workday with the shorter hours and a lunch-out. It was also quiet with much less emails so I got to finish my to-do list pretty quickly!

Still, it would have been great if work stopped at my workstation today so I could sleep in or go shopping or meet up with friends or play with the kids instead. Today, I am un-loving... having to work the day after Christmas. Thankfully, the New Year's weekend is longer with the holiday on Friday!

Photo from i'mjustsaying.

Click here for previous posts from the Today, I am un-loving... series.

it's Friday...

Today, we start rehearsals for our Christmas presentation. It's a competition so everyone at work takes it seriously. But since I don't know how to dance (seriously, I have no rhythm, no coordination), I dread these annual presentations.

Sigh. It's Friday... Let us please NOT dance.

Photo from i'mjustsaying.

Click here for a brighter view of Friday.

the "down"side of a road trip

Like I talked about here, I am going on a road trip today. But as with every road trip, I worry... that there will be long, winding roads to get there.

Or a boat ride that will trigger my motion sickness (see related post here).

Or even old rickety transportation that I don't really mind the oldness of, but the rickety shakiness always makes me dizzy.

Yes, I am somewhat anxious about my motion sickness ruining the trip. But I am hoping for a pleasant time with opportunities to relax, swim, drink some wine, maybe even ride a horse!

Fingers crossed... Ciao!

Photos from olivetsquarespace, acupofjo and frommetoyou.

bracing myself

Am bracing myself for the day ahead. I am anticipating a difficult day at work today.

But on stressful, exhausting days like these, I remember what one of my old co-workers would always say: "Diamonds are made with fire and extreme pressure."

So I know, something good & beautiful will come out of this long, hard day.

You never know... Maybe Chuck Bass will leave a diamond ring on the steps of my office tonight. Pardon the cheeky joke. They're both in khaki trench coats, so I couldn't resist. Plus, a sense of humor always helps on days like these.

Photo from heritage and here.