You know I love you! You are my daily after-dinner snack. I'd have you for breakfast, lunch and dinner too if I just wasn't afraid for my health.
I hate that I cannot go on any of those diets (South Beach, Cohen, Atkins, etc) because none of them will allow you in it... Because I seriously can't live without you.
I just wish you could learn to keep our love affair our little secret. If you were broadcasting our love to the world with a 2-carat diamond ring on my finger, maybe I wouldn't mind. But orange stains on my thumb and index finger certainly pale (no matter how orange) in comparison. Somehow, it's hard to look professional in boardroom meetings the morning after our dinner date with orange fingers.
So my ever dearest Cheetos, could you please keep my love for you our little secret?
Photo from here.
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