Tuesday, August 16, 2011

my name is NOT Regina Phalange.

I was wearing this Regina Phalange shirt of mine today at Starbucks and after taking my order, the girl at the cash register looked at my "nametag" and decided against asking for my name.

That incredibly confused me because Regina Phalange was Phoebe Buffay's pseudonym. Just as Ken Adams was Joey Tribbiani's alternate name. And because I had an alternate Starbucks name of my own. They never could get my name right. I would repeat it three to four times and they would still get it wrong on the cup.

Barista: "Your name, ma'am?"
Me: "Epi."
Barista: "Emmy?" 
Me: "No, Epi."
Barista: "Ellie, ma'am?"
Me: "No, Epi."
Barista: "Eddie?"
Me: [sigh] I give in, "Yes, Eddie."

Scrawled on my cup: "Teddy" [mild expletive under my breath]

So one day, when the Starbucks barista asked for my name, I uttered, "Vivian". And they got it in one shot! The spelling on the cup was right too! From then on, my Starbucks name became "Vivian".

So imagine my confusion when the Starbucks barista did not only NOT call me by my real name "Epi", but also did NOT call me by my pseudonym "Vivian". Instead, she called me by a new name: "One Coffee Jelly Frap for Ms. Regina".

1. Yes, I am a Friends fanatic. See related post here and here.
2. Epi is not my real, real name. Neither is Vivian. Nor Regina.
3. I didn't use my old nick (during my IRC/mIRC/ICQ days of yore) because that would have been a similarly long and confusing dialogue. 

 Photo from here.

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